An Afternoon with Horace Meriwether
Brittany Lauren Pittman
It is Tuesday afternoon, and Horace Meriwether is feeling very much in a sour mood. His ninety-seventh birthday is approaching, and despite his arguments that he is in perfect health, his daughter, Marigold, upon the recommendation of the young upstart, Dr. Bumble, is quite determined that he should have an assistive care provider to stay with him in his home and help him with his daily tasks, as well as to keep an eye on what the doctor so rudely described as “Horace’s deteriorating mental state.” Horace had scoffed at the term “dementia” and had informed Marigold rather stubbornly that an assistant of any sort was unnecessary and would not be tolerated as long as he drew breath, so help him God.
“Dad,” Marigold had argued, “you know your Alzheimer’s is progressing much more quickly now. Someone needs to be here to make sure you don’t harm yourself. You remember why we went to see the doctor, don’t you Dad?”
Horace remembered quite well, thankyouverymuch. So what if he had fallen down? No bones broken, no damage done; there was not even a scratch on his ass! He had glared unrepentantly into Marigold’s tired gaze when he answered her,
“I am the father and you are the child. This is insulting! That Dr. Bumblebee has no idea what he is talking about, and I’m sure he has misdiagnosed me with this ridiculous Alzheimer’s disease that I daresay I do not even have!”
Marigold (who had once been prettily called Marigold Meriwether, but had many years since been married and is now called Marigold Pewter) swept a strand of long, white hair from her brow, closed her eyes for a moment, and pressed her fingertips to her temples. She had been stunningly beautiful in her youth, and as she had aged, with grace, mind you, her beauty had faded into a dusky loveliness that most people could not quite place the root of.
Her mother had died in a car accident when Marigold and her identical twin sister, Lillian, were teenagers. Lillian had died of lung cancer at age fifty-nine, leaving Marigold and Horace the final survivors of their beloved family. Marigold had always known that one day the care of her father would fall into her hands, and decisions like this one, in turn, would demand her attention. The truth of the matter was that Marigold was growing quite old herself, and at age seventy-two, was beginning to tire of Horace’s impudent ways and ridiculous behavior. She was in exceedingly good health for a woman of her age, spending her spare time in such worthy pursuits as hiking, meditation, and water aerobics, but she sometimes wished that she could be allowed to simply be the mother of her children, the grandmother of her grandchildren, and a wizened old woman, instead of the primary caregiver to her father, who had recently fallen from a ladder whilst cleaning the rain gutters in the nude.
This event had, of course, been the reason for the visit to Dr. Bumble, the geriatric specialist, who had suggested an in-home care provider to lessen the burden on Marigold, and to prevent future incidents of this unfortunate nature from occurring at all. Horace had raised hell over the mere thought of a stranger living in his house and meddling with his things, and for the entire twenty-eight minute car ride home, except for the moment when he had rolled down his window and tossed out the brochures which Dr. Bumble had given to Marigold for perusal at her leisure, he had sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed and pouting like a child who had been denied dessert as punishment for not eating his Brussels sprouts at supper.
Now, this fine Tuesday afternoon, Horace sits agitatedly in a large, comfortable leather recliner, staring at the television, which shows a Bonanza rerun in all its grainy glory. He is feeling quite contrary, indeed, as he muses over the events of the past series of days. Marigold was certainly losing her mind if she thought he would have some strumpet nurse prancing about his house, arranging and rearranging his belongings and chastising him when he chose to wander outside in December wearing nothing but his tube socks.
“I will have nothing of the sort,” Horace thinks to himself now, as he absentmindedly flips through channels.
Presently, Horace feels an uncomfortable itching in his throat, and coughs a bit in an attempt to stifle the sensation. Finding this measure unsuccessful, and finding his mouth as dry as a well run out of wishes, he struggles up from his seat and makes his way deliberately to the kitchen to quench his thirst, thinking bitterly all the way that at least if he had a nurse, she could fetch him all the soda-pops he could ask for, and he would never lift a finger again, so help him God.
Upon reaching the refrigerator, Horace is met with an array of options, can after can of Pepsi and Sprite and Dr. Pepper.
“Aha,” he thinks, smugly, “finally a doctor I can really trust! I wonder when Marigold went shopping, the sweet girl. She really isn’t so bad, after all.”
He snatches a can, pops the tab, and takes a long swig. Feeling thoroughly refreshed and perfectly independent and sane in spite of his daughter and that ignoramus Dr. Bumblebee, Horace closes the refrigerator door and turns to make his way back to Bonanza or Jeopardy or whatever is on television now. He shuffles across the hardwood, briefly wondering when Marigold had found the time to replace the old linoleum flooring, and how she had managed to do such a spectacular job of it without his even noticing. Horace returns to his comfortable throne, Dr. Pepper in hand, and begins tediously to flip through infomercial after infomercial after senseless news anchorman. He has paused to scoff at a cartoon sea sponge talking to a squirrel, when suddenly he becomes aware of something amiss.
He turns off the television and sits quite as still as if he were a painting done in oils and in a despondent style, pondering for a moment what it could be that is making him feel so unfamiliar and strange. As he is buried in thought, the sound of a door opening and closing jerks him back to reality, where, to his unmatched horror, he begins to take in his surroundings: the array of houseplants, the crocheted doilies on the many unmatched end tables, the large, unassuming gray cat sitting on the rug, the family portraits of people he recognizes vaguely as the Pattersons, who live down the road in the brick house with the rhododendrons out front. Horace begins to sweat as he shuts his eyes tight against the impossible scene before him. These things, these traces of human activity which surround him belong to someone else. He presses his back into the recliner and remembers the Wizard of Oz, thinking as hard as he can, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home,” hoping against hope that these words will transport him back to his own black leather recliner, back to his own television set.
He hesitantly opens his eyes to find a shocked Patricia Patterson standing at the foot of the recliner, dry-cleaning in hand, eyes wide and looking as if she had seen a ghost, or a blue footed booby, or the cantankerous old Mr. Meriwether, who lives down the road in the whitewashed house with the green shutters, sitting in her living room with a Dr. Pepper in hand.
Seeing the helpless, defeated display across his wrinkled features, understanding dawns on Patricia Patterson, who went to school with Marigold’s son, Luther Pewter, and has heard rumors of Old Mr. Meriwether’s declining mental health. Her eyes soften as Horace stares pleadingly into her plain, oval face.
“Oh, Mr. Meriwether,” she sighs gently, with a shake of her head and a glance toward the clock on the wall, “I suppose I ought to phone Luther. Would you like another Dr. Pepper?”
(Source: storiesandsuchthings)